‘Our difference are nowhere as significant as the thing we have in common’

DANIEL 43

When I was young I prayed every night. I prayed to wake up tall and straight and happy. But every morning, I’d still be short and queer, depressed and scared. I couldn’t disguise my lack of height, but I worked hard to make sure no-one knew I was gay. It was exhausting. I knew it wasn’t just a phase. After years of pretence, something had to give. 

Eventually, I chose to be me.

I was terrified of telling my best mate.  We’d been close friends since we were twelve. We’re chalk and cheese. Jamie is tall, dark and handsome, and straight as. I told him at the Manly Skiff Club one sunny Saturday afternoon. 

He smiled. ‘I know. Now, get to the bar. It’s your shout. ‘

 Jamie is a no-drama kind of guy. I should have had more faith in the things that really matter. I finally felt safe and knew I would survive.  The freedom was intoxicating but I also felt a sense of responsibility. I made a commitment to live truthfully; visible, out & loud.

A few years ago I was at my sister’s for a family lunch. Her youngest took me to meet his guinea pig.

‘Uncle Dan, this is Daffyd. He’s the only gay in the village.’

 ‘Not today, he’s not.’

 ‘Well, he’s the only gay in a cage here.’

Sam has always been a smart kid.

Our differences are nowhere as significant as the things we share in common.  They should be celebrated, not feared. Jamie and I are still chalk and cheese, and we’re still best mates.

My life is filled with friendship, love and laughter, and I’m happier than I once imagined possible. 

I haven’t prayed since those days, but I regularly count my blessings.  

G.D. O'Neill